Champagne on ice?

"Is it there?"
"I can't tell. I think it is".

Yet again, not the most conclusive of tests. They do these things to test you, I'm sure. See how far your sanity level can go before they tell you that the results are positive. It's quite simple; binary. True or false. Yes or no. On or off. Baby or no baby.

There seems to a tiny element of doubt, and possibly a very good reason. The wife is only 1 week late with the visitors, and we may be celebrating a bit too early.

It 's been decided that we (Sorry, I have to put this as a collective "we" as I will aid and assist other than just doing the deadly deed!) will book in for a doctors test as soon as possible. That would be fine, expect for when the mother-in-law and series of her friends, work as receptionists at the doctors surgery.
"Hello, can I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like to see Dr. Bunsen Honeydew* for a test."
"No problem, can I ask who's calling?"
"Yes, it's the wife."
"Ah, outlaws daughter. Oh how are you? I haven't seen you in ages! How's the other half? Goood, good. Oh ... test. OK, no problem, I'll book you in." 2 minutes pass before the wife receives a phone call from her mother asking what's going on. Not good.

As this evening is the outlaws birthday, I think that we're going to be fast-tracked for a test (the perks and benefits of being related to someone who works in a surgery) to make sure we're right about the assumptions.

A lesson has been learnt;
1) Don't panic, and wait a bit longer than a week after the visitors normally arrive.
2) Don't purchase products that are cheaper than the common brand as you don't get the full product that you're expecting. It's a bit like buying a bottle of supermarket branded washing up liquid. It's not the same as Fairy or Persil is it? It may be cheaper, but you end up needing twice as much to get the job done.


* This is, obviously, a made up name. I like the muppets.